this is really good.
i thought i was alone. that i was only one with bad thoughts that plague me
sometimes. making me think i wasn't saved. such darkness, this battle sometimes.
im so glad to hear this study. thankful to Jesus for this. it gives me great relief.
i hope if you come across this blog and you are in this like some of us.. that it will help you. its helping me. but the battle is still so AWFUL.
i thought i was losing my soul. but this is part of the christian life.
LORD keep me till the end. dont let me fall away and dont let me give in.
let t he cross have marks where my nails have dug in beneath where your feet were.
dont let me go Lord. dont let me go.
im weak and i dont know how. but i know how to hold onto something for dear life.
if im hanging over the side of a cliff hanging on to the Branch im not letting go until He pulls me up and sets my feet on the flat surface.. Rock.. again.
the pharisees tried to push Jesus off that cliff.. because He was holy. because they didnt like what He was doing or saying...which He was obeying God..
the devil doesnt want me or you to obey God and so this war goes on.
i thought to myself yesterday.. i think i might rather be in a physical war on the front lines than this spiritual war. i think it is harder that being on a front line M-16. yes ppl are dying all around. smoke. explosions. tears. yelling. motorcades.
traps and snares... blood. flesh flying. shrapnel.
but there.. its not a battle for my soul. when i die i go to be with HIM.
im fighting for what ever reason on a front line.
this.. this spiritual battle seems crazy!!! i cant understand what is going on sometimes.
i cant hear Father. i cant remember scripture when im being assaulted. i try. i try. and it turns to tears and i call help JESUS. SHEPHERD!!! help me.
if i remember to call on Him...and not thinking He is against me..
now that i have heard this study...intro.. im realizing it is the same thing that happens to other believers..on the battle field..
im not standing there alone... in front of a fireing squad..tanks...
though this is what it seems like... or maybe i am. except the LORD is with me. the Captain of my salvation.
i need Jesus is all i know. i cant make the thoughts go away. i can try my hardest to think good
to keep my mind on things above. but even then..intrusive..blasphemous arrows are thrown at me...
Immanuel.
and now... though the speakers do not work on my computer..and i do not know how to fix them..
i pray the LORD will..so i can hear these sermons again.. and the rest of the study. i cant read lips.
LORD help me... i know the words to this song.. though i cannot hear it...
pillar..frontline.
