Woman, why weepest thou?

i just found this treasure chest of more free books to read online.
no...since i read Broken for a Purpose i have found no purpose for my life.
although i wiash to be used of Him i dont know it will ever happen.
my life is not my own. i have no will. it is all His. but i sit in pain and sorrow
and suffering and wait for Him. it seems as thought He has shut up His ears to me
and no longer sshows His face to me.
i am in despair one moment and numb the next.
but someday i will be with Him.
this i wait for,
i know im born of the Spirit.
so God cannot lie. unless He is casting me away.. i will get to be with Him. i think i am unprofitable servant.
God says all those who come to Me i will in no wise cast out. im not sure what is going on.
but for His name's sake and His glory i beleive i will go to heaven to be with Him.
i pray He doesnt tell me He never knew me.
because i sure love Him and i have only wanted Him above all else.
so anyway here is the link to the book.."Woman, Why Are You Weeping?"
i wonder if you read it maybe you would comment. about it.
i sure would like someone to talk to..even if it is only on a blog.