incorruptible, undefiled, does not fade away

Inheritance reserved in heaven for you... 

1 Peter 1.4

this is just studying and my notes and what i learn from the first epistle of Peter. its meant to help me..

if anyone reads and they are helped...praise the LORD. but i am trying to understand how these trials

are refining me, testing my faith since it is more precious than gold... to the LORD Jesus..

and quit thinking that i have sinned and am bad and worthless and God is always punishing me

and im an unprofitable servant He is burning up.

the majority of my life i have been told things of this nature.. not about God.

but just how awful i am.

but what i am... is an adopted child of God. the Lord saved me by His blood. redeemed me out of darkness and sin and depravity. He changed me, put the desire to be holy as He is holy in me..and i seek to be like Him. to please Him and to be with Him. my body is the temple of Holy Spirit.

and im accepted in the Beloved Jesus Christ. Father loves me too, He is my Father now.

im not what ive been told..those bad things...im not even what my life looks like. cuz this place isnt reality. this place isnt my home...this earth. i dont like it here. want to be with Jesus. but for now..im learning to not marvel at manifold temptations... TRIALS.

that this is the LORD's love for me...different as it may be..seem...is.. His ways are NOT our ways.

but i want that scum burned off... removed from the top as the impurities float to the top...i want Jesus to remove them.

so He can look at me and see HIS reflection. His life living in me. working in me.

so the materials i use to study..the BIBLE. concordance, greek linguistic key to new testament. i will insert my own writings in a different color next to the Scripture so there is no confusion on my part....organization of my thoughts... and so no one wonders what VERSION of the Bible is this?

btw, i use nkjv.

No, im not a seminary student. im just a regular person...kind of... but not really.

im born of the Spirit of God.

STUDY to show thyself approved...to GOD.

1 Peter 1

 ¹ Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,

To the pilgrims of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,  
² elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father,
in sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ:

Grace to you and peace be multiplied.
PEACE multiplied... who wonderful.. a prayer that peace be multiplied.. to go along with the multiplied trials and sufferings...GRACE... God, how i need more GRACE to overcome... please give me more grace...so i can truly rejoice in these trials instead of just saying i do to avoid complaining...let me truly mean it.

ive heard sermons on rejoicing in suffering..

but ive never heard any of the people say that they ACTUALLY DID REJOICE..during suffering...

except for Paul the apostle and Silas...singing in prison..

ive never heard of the bad things that happen to people how they rejoiced..

nope. ive heard them telling people how they must do this and that.. but not heard of their own trial in which they rejoiced at the time of suffering.

LORD.. make this me.

³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope
(He is truly my Hope. Living God. Man sitting in heaven. my God who chose me. elected me. i came from utter darkness as well as every other person whom He saved..our nature is sin... but there are morally good people burning in hell right now..who never did the bad things i did... He is my Hope.. when i have no joy, my hope is in Him, when i have no peace, my hope is in Him, when i am hungry my hope is in Him, when im cold, my hope is in Him, when i am filled. FILLED with sorrow... my hope is still in Him. His promise that He will not , no never leave me or forsake me.

He will return for me.. He has gone to prepare a place for me... He has adopted me into His family and i cry out DADDY! Abba! Father!

He is my living hope. Living Hope. He is the only Hope. and my only source of Hope. My only source of real lasting comfort. i know this life seems long. but it says in the bible it is only temporary and i try to remember this... soon and very soon i will be with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. i will be happy, eternally happy and joyous with Him forever...with my Father.. my real real Father!!!! forever... Living Hope.)
through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
and He will raise me up at the last day... and i will be with Him and i will see Him as He really is.. in all His glory and majesty and beautiful holiness..in all His love..in all His radiance and i will get to stay at His feet forever!!
⁴ to an inheritance incorruptible 

my inheritance cannot be ravaged by enemies...though everything might be taken from me here on this earth...my inheritance is waiting for me..reserved...it cannot be destroyed.

and undefiled
He is undefiled... like the beautiful flower above.. this term was used for flowers of supernatural beauty...purity...He is so pure. so Holy. so Beautiful. so glorious clothed in light. gold, rainbow..beautiful Jesus..undefiled Jesus...God in heaven..beauty..pure light. there is no darkness in Him at all!!!
and that does not fade away,
time cannot erase my inheritance...He is in eternity. He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He created time. He created eternity. He created the body that He is in. the heaven He sits in.. the earth we stand upon..and He will not fade away. the Word of our God remains forever..time can not erode Him. devils cannot kill Him. they were kicked out of heaven..He is the Author and Finisher of everything! including me... and i have feeble faith..weak as i am..i am dependent on Him and He is strong!! He is mighty to save! Nothing and no one can make my Inheritance fade away!
reserved in heaven for you,

He is reserved...waiting..already there. He is prepared. He is sanctified.. He sanctified Himself for our sakes..us who are His children.. He is waiting in heaven for us.. reserved in all His glory. in all His power in all His majesty. the God of heaven is reserved for me...me?..

it is hard to fathom sometimes.. i cannot even understand really.. except with the little bit He gives me... but i believe by faith and having not seen HIM... i love Him and believe in Him... i know what Jesus has done for me..in me.. only Holy Spirit can do what has been done in me... and most dont know.. they dont see..they dont know me before...but GOD knows... i was in line after Paul when he said i am the chief of sinners...i think in my "church" i can claim that title...but HE still died for me..while i was His enemy.. dead in trespasses.. He loved..He died. He obeyed Father by the things He suffered He learned obedience... and i follow Jesus and i want this too. obey Him. obey Father. Christ in me the hope of glory. Christ living in my, glorifying Father.. still.. on the earth..

God of all creation.. reserved in heaven for me. He is waiting..and He is making me a pure and spotless bride for Him that i may stand blameless before Him.. to receive my Inheritance and be with Him forever in the secret place.
⁵ who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
⁶ In this you greatly rejoice,
i do , i do , i do!!!! i rejoice that He keeps me. i am kept by the power of God..i can not keep myself.. i am a sheep. i go astray, i get confused, i make wrong decisions, i am a measly human and HE IS GOD! He keeps me. i am saved by Him and safe in Him! nothing can take me out of my Father's hand. Father gave me to Jesus. He keeps me..oh and i am so ready for salvation!!!! but Father.. Daddy says i am not... this is why i am still here..being refined. because He loves me..He cares for me...sometimes i have sorrow upon sorrow and the weight of it is crushing.... but like i said.. i came from something like maybe the swamp thing.. a pig of pigs...apparently i need ALOT of refining... or maybe HE just wants to make me really shiny and glorious for Himself..for HIS glory...

it is love. His love. in this i am content and happy. in this i am blessed. that i am one of God's people. He calls me His own.. He is making me a jewel in His crown. much polishing..much heating..much fire...is needed to remove the impurities...many trials.. this is what is happening...God's work...God's hand...GOD trying me.

i listened to a sermon last night... this stuck: from ... Job 7.17-18

What is man, that You should exalt him,

      That You should set Your heart on him,

 That You should visit him every morning,
      And test him every moment?

God tests man every moment..we give an account for every idle word spoken..every deed..everything..after we have been saved..our sins are forgiven...if we are His...but He tries man every moment..

and the preacher said have you ever felt like that..you knew God was testing you..and yes.. lately i have been very aware at the moment of testing that He is watching me.. watching my reaction looking directly at me..

and i feel helpless and dont wan tto fail the test..and dont know what to do..do i cry can i get on my knees in the middle of walmart and cry out to HIM.. if i do im sure that i will not stop crying and pretty soon they will be calling 911 because this person needs help!

im aware of teh test and i dont know if im failing or passing... but i feel sorrow because im sure... in my mind... that ive already failed and disappointed Him... i dont wan tto disappoint Him... this is my biggest concern...

now that i have to do the trial over as i hear people say happens... im not sure where that is in Scripture...

but i just want to  please Him...

i know He is trying me at every moment.. and it has become for me..if i pay attention.. like some kind of other sense... like when a deer is drinking water..she stops. looks up. and stands there verrrry still.

something is there. next thing you know her tail is up and she is darting off in to the forest.

but no one can run from God. i learned this too. it hurts more to run from GOD. He is in control, not me.

though now for a little while,
...little?? c'mon Peter!!!! yes it is a little while compared to eternity... but the trials have been steady increasing over 3 and a half years...and they come closer and closer together..not quite like Job's..bam bam bam!.. but increasing, piling up, feeling the weight..like birth pangs...steady increasing in intensity and closer together...
if need be,
you have been grieved by various trials,

yes... grieved...in sorrow and heaviness it seems without end.. but i have a Living Hope..

they seem unbearable.. the trials.. the sorrow mostly..this sorrow upon sorrow....

but He thinks.. or KNOWS i need it...so i trust Jesus.
⁷ that the genuineness of your faith,  
being much more precious than gold that perishes,
though it is tested by fire,
may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,

(this is what i hope for and want. His praise...for Him to be praised and honored and glorified! which He is!.. but in me..it would be worth it. He is...He is worth it all...just have to remember...He is worth it.. not me... but HE IS)
⁸ whom having not seen you love. 

Though now you do not see Him, yet believing,

you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,

⁹ receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

more later...
Jesus... please let me remember to come back to this..
so i can remember..remind myself...
YOU, Lord, are worth it all. every ounce of suffering. every tear and pain.
what You did for me is nothing compared to my suffering...
i dont think i can really call it suffering...i have not endured unto blood shed,
yet.