Sarah's Trail of Blood (Voice of the Martyrs)

i have christmas lights made in china.
probably made by a brother or sister in chains
for Jesus... their love of Jesus.
i feel horrible.
forced labor.. remember when you hear of coal mines
collapsing in china.. there are brethren in those mines
imprisoned for Christ.

their life is real.
mine is lifeless...useless.
the christmas lites are the light in america
their Lights are the lights in china.

that God would have mercy on me.
how i dishonor Him.
how this western church blasphemes His name
among the gentiles.
in other countries they kill people who live for Christ.
here.. He's a bumper sticker, a t-shirt, an ornament..
here He has singles groups and and conferences
on how to get more money in His name???

im not worthy to stand before Him
or even this woman...
im vile and horrible
and i wish i could not be here... in america..
but live. truly live...
in a place like china.
american problems.. even for believers are
just so...
middle-class.
forgive me Lord.
for all i have done..
but more.. for all i have not done in following Your example.
if You will be gracious.. maybe i can live for You.. really live
with You walking in me
like You walk in Sarah.. and so many..
live in me and die in Me.. again..