this is my favorite sermon from you tube
in a long time.
to hear Paul's diary and how he was struggling with doubts... yet he was not doubting because he was saying if God seeks not to continue this mission then He is justified..
not in those word's but i never hear much on this kind of thing..preacher's revealing how they were struggling.. maybe because they are supposed to look good in front of the flock.. i dont know.. but it gives me hope.
and makes me not feels so.. whatever ..
the part about the promises.. im going to do.. not that anyone cares by me telling them or writing this.. no one ever responds.. but thats ok.
God wants me too. and He is watching me.. He wants me to search them and pray to Him... about godliness and how He is mighty and how He is near to the weak and how He helps the poor and needy... and He will answer these when i ask and receive...
not the blab it and grab it like paul said..
this is the ask and you shall receive..
and these are things that i want. to overcome sin.
to be near to God
to see Him
to see Him show Himself strong on my behalf.
for His glory.
i dont know why im here why im on this earth
what God wants with me or for me.
but im His. alot of ppl dont think i should be. and dont want me near them.
but God... He is the One who died for me..
He is the One who washed away my sins.
He is. He is the one who took it all for me
nobody else.
i live for Him. even when He is crushing me and slaying me
and im not sure what ive done or i think im failed in sin
beyond help beyond repair beyond Him loving me..
He does.
HE is not man that He should lie.
men think they are so great and should have the say in things.
but it is GOD . and at the day of judgement we shall see what GOD says
and how GOD wants it
and how GOD makes a mighty display of HIS power
His goodness HIS glory HIS plans HIS hopes and HIS dreams
all for HIS future.
because at judgement day
all the plans of men are gone. all their dreams all their fine things
all their degrees and towers they built are all gone.
flattened. crushed. burned up.
GOD will have mercy on who He has mercy
and He will destroy who HE destroys.
it is all for Him.
not me. not you.not us.
He is kind and merciful.
im kind to my cat.
dont have to be.
God wants me to be.
buit i did not have to adopt her out of that cage.
she didnt do anything for me.
there were lots of cats in that humane society.
all cute. all furry. they all meowed.
some looked at me some did not.
i did not go there knowing aha there is a maine coon that i have wanted all my life.
i looked at so many.
i picked the one and i held it. her.
i asked Daddy... can i have her?? He said yes. and i bought her.
now.. i liked her.. because she purred...but all cats purr.
she buried her nose in my arm.. i liked that... like she felt safe with me..
she tugged my heart.. she likes me i thought.
i didnt do anything for God. good or bad. that made Him decide He wanted me..
i have no clue. He could of closed His eyes and played pin the tail on the donkey with pictures of people for all i know...
whichever picture the dart landed on.. they are saved... the rest are damned.
how do i know??
i know i did nothing. i deserve nothing
i am an utter failure of a human being in society's eyes and my own.
but because God sent Jesus to die and be the sacrifice for my sins...to appease God to not pour His wrath on me..Jesus suffered for me.
so God loves me..He loves me He sent His Son to die..
but i did nothing .. but be born on this earth. and be alive. picked out in the lottery or how ever they decided a long time ago. i still deserve nothing but wrath.
but i have the righteousness of Christ imputed to me.
i wear His robes.. you cant see them.. but they are there
and He is glorious in heaven.
He doesnt have to give nothing to me.
He gave His son.
it is hard to unlearn the teaching in america..
i still think im being punished sometimes by the situations im in
but Jesus took my punishment there is no more punishment because of Jesus
only God treating me now as a son.. daughter...
i am glad that i am not "blessed" with all the stuff other poeple have
it doenst mean im bad...it means He loves me.. stuff would send me away from Him possibly. i want to be close to Him. i dont want that STUFF
i want HIM.
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